It was one year ago today that we said goodbye to my mother-in-law, Pauline.

I find it baffling to think that it’s been an entire year since her passing. I still vividly recall the long twelve days she was hospitalized; driving Isabelle back and forth to the hospital to sit by her mother’s bedside so that her father could go home and get some rest as they split shifts. I remember feeling physically, emotionally, and spiritually drained. I remember watching my wife and my father-in-law, and being in awe of how they were handling everything. Yes, some of it was because they were in shock from the suddenness of the whole situation, but they are also both logical, pragmatic people who looked at this realistically and saw how things were going. They recognized that they needed to be prepared in case the worst were to pass, which it eventually did.

Those twelve days simultaneously felt like they lasted six weeks and three days. And the twelve months that have passed since that day feel similarly. Isabelle and I have done so much in the past year, almost more than seems possible in that time, yet it feels like it’s only been a couple of months since I was making that daily drive back and forth to the hospital.

We’ve made a conscious effort this year to not take life for granted. We wanted to ensure that we did not pass up on any opportunities that came our way as life is too short to take for granted that you can do it sometime later. If Pauline’s passing has done anything, it’s helped us crystallize that idea in our core beliefs. Don’t pass up on opportunities to do things, to see people, to go places.

As a result, this was a year that saw us travel more than we’ve travelled before – together, we took trips to Hawaii, Washington, DC, Québec City, Gatineau, Halifax, and Disney World. Individually, Isabelle went to Arizona, while I went to Egypt and Istanbul. Among those trips were a handful of fabulous concerts, and moments of spiritual growth and self-development. We did not deprive ourselves of anything this year. It was a year of healing, of growth and fun.

Yet a year later, things still feel…different.

It would be unrealistic to think that things would be “normal” after losing a parent. There have been really good periods this year where we had fun, where we lived our lives to the fullest, and where we felt fabulous. There have been periods this year where emotions have run high, where tears flowed, and where we felt soul-crushing sadness and emptiness. We alternated between those two states over the last twelve months. And I say “we” here because I’ve also felt the loss, but it’s obviously been much more pronounced in Isabelle. Things are slowly getting “better”, but it’s not a linear cycle of “things are shitty now, they’re getting better, they’re good”. Grief is a roller coaster. Some days the emotions and sadness are high, sometimes they’re low. With time, you learn to adapt and make the peaks and valleys less intense, but the ride continues.

On this, the anniversary of Pauline’s passing, we’re taking the opportunity to celebrate her memory. Pauline adored Christmas, so Isabelle put out a social media call on December 1st asking people to do a random act of kindness (or as I suggested – a Random Act of Pauline, or RAP) on behalf of Pauline. Whether it’s donating to a local food bank or toy drive, whether it’s treating a friend or colleague to a coffee, whether it’s dropping off cookies or holiday baking to a neighbour, whether it’s checking in on your elderly relative or a neighbour just to say hello, whether it’s supporting a local artist or business, just try to spread a little magic in the world. It could make all the difference to someone.

Should you decide to spread a bit of magic this year, maybe even share what you’ve done on social media. Your good action might just inspire others to do the same. Lord knows we can use all of the goodwill and magic we can find these days, so the more people who participate, the more positive energy we are infusing into the world. If you choose to share your good act on social media, use the hashtag #Pauline2024 so that Isabelle can see all of the good that is being done in memory of her mother.

Here’s hoping that the rest of December is filled with magic, Christmas spirit, and more than a few random acts of Pauline.