Oh, life could be a dream (sh-boom)
If I could take you up in paradise up above (sh-boom)
If you would tell me I’m the only one that you love
Life could be a dream, sweetheart
–Sh-Boom, The Crew Cuts (1954)
Over the past few years, there has been an ever-growing chatter as to whether our existence is real or just a simulation in some super powerful computer. Reading these metaphysical discussions can end up causing an existential crisis of faith type moments in some people. But that is only partly what this post is about.
As many of my readers might know (and really, maybe they don’t), I had a bit of an experience nearly 10 years ago that left me with an altered perspective of life and the world in which we live. I’ve talked about it in a previous post, but long story short, I was borderline in a diabetic coma and nearly died. Ever since that fateful day in March 2008, I have had one particular thought that seems to recur from time to time, frequently enough that I may have started to give it some credence.
What if I’m still in a diabetic coma?
Is it possible that the past 9 years of my life have been going on within the brain of a comatose patient? The thought itself is a bit unsettling, particularly for you, my gentle reader, as it would mean that you’re not real; merely the figment of my imagination. “But I know I’m real! I have memories and feelings.” you’ll say. Or are those all part of my ginormous brain’s functions too?
Consider this – since my diabetic experience, my life has been pretty darn good. Granted, I’ve had a few ups and downs, but by and large, I’ve lived nothing but good experiences in the last 9 years. Shortly after the whole ordeal, I reconnected with an old friend (Isabelle) for whom I had romantic feelings for in my younger years. We started hanging out, quickly progressed to dating, moved in together, got engaged, got married, lived happily ever after. Seriously though. Isabelle and I seem to have a remarkably good life together. We don’t fight. We don’t argue (except over who’s more stubborn or what we want to eat). We purchased a beautiful, almost dream, home three days after our wedding. We travel. We have fun. If you listen to what other couples say or what modern media makes relationships out to be, we seem to be an anomaly. It almost seems unreal. I know it’s not, but I can make that argument in my own mind.
Even my work life has been good. Things have worked out just as I wanted them to, generally speaking. I left the contact centre job that I had at the time of my diabetic experience and moved to a better spot. After being there very briefly, I moved into a Training job, which I adored. Then, as soon as I decided “I need a change…I want to be a Team Leader,” I got a job as a team leader. Everything has occurred almost exactly as I would like it to. Yes, there have been some levels of frustration over the past months, as I’ve written about recently, but is that just my subconscious doing its darndest to keep things realistic?
Those who are Reiki-ists, like Isabelle and I, will say that I manifest my wants and desires because I am a Light Worker, and that I am in touch with my guides and the Universe (Light, Source, God, whatever name you want to give it) is giving me what I ask. I can buy that answer too.
My life seems to be working out just good enough for me to believe that it’s real, but not so good that it’s obviously false. I haven’t won the lottery. I haven’t moved to Disney World. I haven’t published a best-selling novel. I still have set backs. I still have frustrations and challenges. I still have weight to drop. I still have no hair.
I’d ask you what you think, but the question may be moot. If you answer me, and you are part of my consciousness, then you’re answering what I want you to answer. It’s these types of thoughts, of self-introspection, that make me question my sanity sometimes. I once had a dear friend tell me that he was envious of my ability to do that type of thinking without the aid of “pharmaceutical assistance”. I always thought that was a great compliment.
Irregardless of whether my current life is real or a comatose patient’s subconscious mind running amok, I will live my life as though I am in control. I will try to get the most out of this life and be the best version of Chris that I can. In the end, we all make up our own realities anyhow, so how you choose to perceive it is entirely in your hands. Expect the worst and that is what you will attract. Have a positive, joyful view of the Universe, and attract positive experiences. I like to be goofy, so I’ll just keep living my goofy life.
Addendum: I wrote this post a few days prior to watching the most recent episode of Doctor Who (Extremis). In a fun case of synchronicity, the subject matters overlap. I love synchronicity. I think I need to do a bit more reading and research on this phenomenon.